I Can’t Remember 15 Years Of My Life

I can’t remember 15 years of my life.

Yes, you read that correctly. Ages 5-20 are a big ole blur.

When I was 5, a doctor put me on very high doses of Adderall, and all sorts of other drugs to combat ADHD—leading to confusion for me, memory loss, and difficulty relating to my peers.

For a long time, I blamed myself. How could I be born so different that I needed pills to fit in? What was so wrong with me that I needed to be heavily medicated just to socialize?

After a while, and multiple stints in rehab, I transferred blame to the doctor that made me feel like a monster for taking those pills.

But today, I’d like to thank that doctor.

I would never wish a 15-year memory gap onto anyone, but this negative experience led me down a non-linear path of discovering my passion for human connection.

Because I know what it feels like to be an outsider, I now facilitate experiences where everyone gets to belong.

When we gratefully process trauma—realizing and assigning positive consequences to our negative memories—we change the narrative. We allow ourselves to heal our deepest wounds.

So, in the spirit of grateful processing, and healing from my own deep wounds, I thank the doctor who influenced those wounds heavily.

What deep wound can you heal today by thanking someone you wouldn’t typically think to?